想起外公

突然想起外公，也许是天气阴霾的原因吧

外公是军人，第二次国共内战打了3年，他同军队一路从北方随着国民党溃退台湾，打到南方，遇到了当护士的外婆，就再也没有离开过南方，也再没有回去他的故乡，直到老去。外公是典型的山东大汉，身材高大魁梧，而外婆是典型的南方女人，身材娇小，我也不已得知他们是怎样遇上彼此，总之他们就是遇上了。

我出生那年，外公中风，轮椅一坐就是10年。打我懂事以来，我对外公的感觉好似陌生人，他总是坐在轮椅上，臃肿的他总是裹着军外套，总是一口浓浓的山东口音。去到外婆家时，年幼的我会在屋里晃来晃去，外公就会叫着我的小名“小苹果”，而多数时间我却没有理会过他，那时他还没有应为中风而失去语言能力。晚餐过后，外婆总会搀着他在大院里做复健，外公每迈出的一步都显得艰难，一米八几的身高却依靠在外婆略显驼背的娇小身躯上，看得让人心酸。造化弄人，谁人知几十年前他还带过兵，打过仗，出生入死。或许也是因为如此，大院里的人看到外公是总是会带着几分敬意，可他最小的外孙却连理他都觉得是多余。

外婆家的女人笃信基督，却都嫁给不相信上帝的男人，包括她自己，却没有一夜停止过为丈夫的祷告。外公中风的十年间，进出医院是家常便饭，听妈说他有次被诊断出有肿瘤，外婆担心受怕，除了照顾外公以外，就是上教堂祷告。那时泉州的医院没有信心可以做肿瘤割除的手术，外公就一路辗转到福州设备较好的医院，诊断的结果却是肿瘤自己逐渐在消亡。家族将之视为神迹，外公也蒙神恩度过那一次的危难。

外公过世的那天，是表哥跑到家里来说的。我唯一一次看到妈崩溃的样子，鞋都没有穿，哭得像孩子一样，一路跑到外婆家。外婆哭肿双眼，发呆般瘫坐在沙发上，子女围着她无不泪流满面，是我看过最伤怀的一幕。外婆说，他随耶稣去了。外公最后葬在外婆家乡的小岛上。习俗的关系，外孙是不宜到岛上去。要10年了，我却开始渐渐淡忘，甚至没有亲手在坟上盖把土，弥补自己的过失。

现在的我在自己的过错中轮回，又是无法自拔。借着回忆，忏悔。想起外公，在昨夜。

your are beautiful

"You're Beautiful"
james blunt

My life is brilliant.
My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Flying high, [ - video/radio edited version]
F**king high, [ - CD version]
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

gathering

spent two hours alone in library after lunch, and took a nap on my linear algebra notes, pretty ironic sight i guess, while others working on their stuff competing with time...well, well, well why shld i follow suite simply 'cause others are busy?call me insensitive wat so ever, and i dont give a damn...the first thing lydear said was "u look stressed", when she saw me in lib and i replied "that's because i m in library"...m i becoming an odd ball or is it juz that everyone's talking strangely to me?ha, came across xiaohui at science canteen this morning when buying myself breakfast, i greeted her "morning", and instead of a "morning", that girl shot back" how come so 温柔 suddenly? muz be sleepy still " left me speechless on the spot, fine, u are right for the last part, but i thot i m always 温柔？

...

k, i m juz kidding, sometimes i oso find it hard to accept my own joke...

went gathering with camp buddies at munchy monkey,update..eh if not gossip, about each other's life recently...derek's got big bulleyes on his back, and i guess his face simply writes " shoot me please", he's got everyone's "attention" since his grand entry, and despite his tremendous effort to convince everyone that he indeed had lunch with his father, nobody believes him still, too bad ,man...when ginny was asked why she's still single, she said she would turn into a lesbian on full moon night, yeah, that's a nice joke...and yiwen, the 3rd year law student, never fails to amuse us with his story, i nearly laughed my gut out

a friend of his, living in PGP block one which is located at the far end of the whole residence, one day entering the kitchen and finding smth brownish looking on the floor, its trail streched out of the door all the way to the male toilet, out of curiousity, he FOLLOWed the trail and opened the door of the male toilet, finding himself facing a pile of shit, and he screamed "oh shit!" and that's where the brownish trail came to an abrupt end, not even anywhere near the toilet bowl, it's at the door!!...the brilliant lad, use his digit cam took a photo of the trail and its surprised ending, filed a complain to the block coordinator!!

wat the heck...that poor guy muz be having a really really upset stomach...haha

anyway, exams coming, God bless all of us

被ay点到

游戏 游戏规则： 被点名在自己blog上写下答案， 并出一个题目，然后把题目丢给另外五个人， 并且到这些人的留言版上留下：“你被点名了。” 这五个人在自己的blog注明是从哪一个blogger那里传来的题目， 然后写下答案，并另写一个问题，再去贴另外五个人。 比如你自己回答14个题目，你回答完了再加一个， 被你点名的博友就要回答15个题目，如此继续下去

提问1：2005年，你的野心是什么！
打破自己一顿吃下44个蒸饺的纪录...

提问2：为以下物品撰写一句话。此物品为二锅头. 『出题人：葵』
为什么叫2锅头？叫3锅头，4锅头不行吗？

提问3：叙述你或者你想象中的最囧的一次恋爱经历 限原创；字数250字以上 『出题人：栗子』
靠...

提问4：一天早上起来，发现自己身边的人都变成蛤蟆似的只会跳，只会呱呱叫，你怎么办 『出题人：鬼丸』
离开地球

提问5：如果发现自己最近衰到极点，你会怎么办？『出题人：星星』
其实会期待自己会再衰下去，衰到什么程度...

提问6：请形容一下你理想（妄想）中的结婚场景吧。。包括结婚对象。。 『出题人：泡泡璐』
哈哈，我梦过，穿converse搭西装...不赖吧

提问7：如果你可以变成动漫/卡通里的角色，你想变成谁，说出原因。『出题人：猫猫HISA』
三井 寿 ，想变成和他一样的三分王...我的3分球的光荣时代已经过去...

提问8：初吻的地点，时间，对象。哈哈哈哈。。如果还没有，那希望跟谁？ 『出题人：叉』
屁..没有初恋可以有初吻吗？

提问9：最想到什麽地方定居。和谁一起去。以及原因。很简单的问题吧。 『出题人：熊子』
乡下，我家老爸说退休要去乡下住，自己种田，养鸡养鸭养猫养狗...

提问10：觉得人生对自己最重要的是什么？ 『出题人：lulu 』
历练

提问11：你一觉醒来，发现全世界的人都看不见你，也听不见你说话，你会怎么办？ 『出题人：樱桃猫猫 』
那就可以做很多以前做不了的事情了，嘿嘿...

提问12：如果可以从机器猫（也奏是哆啦A梦）那里得到一样宝贝，你想得到什么？ 『出题人：小文』
任意门...好东西啊。上课就不会迟到了

提问13：如果重新让你选择一次已经过完的这段人生，你会想从什么时候开始？换句话说，你对自己什么阶段最后悔，想重新来过？ 『出题人：野孩子』
我不相信后悔，错过了就错过了

提问14：你最后一次ml是什么时候？跟谁? 『出题人：阿米』
什么是ml?迷路还是make love?
迷路的话，就是昨天，自己一个人，本来要去sherse hall的，结果从central lib走到pgp...
make love的话，处男一个...

提问15：你认为孙悟空和黑猫警长哪个更性感点？ 『出题人：假民工』
这个问题无聊的水准蛮高的...不过还是觉得黑猫警长比较性感吧，紧身衣紧身裤的穿着

提问16：无事人的时候做什么最好？ 『出题人：新空』
让事情找上我

提问17：你最不希望被问到什么问题？ 『出题人：23theva』
“怎么还单身啊？是不是性向有问题啊？”（我会抓狂）

提问18：最喜欢的一句话是什么？『出题人：Ｐampas Grass』
最近看到的，李敖：“美国的富兰克林说，有自由的地方就是我的国家，我说不对，应该是这里是我的国家，我要使之自由”

提问19：大家这么熟了，你最想对我(上一个传题人)说的一句话? 『出题人：青菜 』
表叫我小弟了，不过比你晚出生1年罢了

提问20：你最喜欢王菲哪一首歌？为什么？ 『出题人：Azure 』
旋木，不为什么...

提问21：还相信，一生一世的忠诚吗？ 『出题人：洁子猪』
我会骗你说我相信

提问22：对你心爱的人,你会选择百分百的坦白,还是保留一些善意的谎言？ 『出题人：雪狼』
怎么又是这种问题...50， 50吧

提问23：你跟上个出题人怎么认识的啊？第一次见面啥时候啊？还说啥拉？记不得就算拉没关系 『出题人：woowoo』
ay啊？sem1 礼拜五的physics lab完了后一群人去science canteen吃东西，就这么认识的，说了什么...好像是“你要吃东西吗？”

提问24：你喜欢吃川菜吗？『出题人：葫芦』
不要太辣就吃

提问25：最喜欢的电影是什么？ 『出题人：暗涌』
西洋电影：saving private ryan && forrest gump
中文电影：无间道I，东方不败（老到掉牙的电影）
动画电影：攻壳机动队ghost in the shell，千羽千寻

提问26: 预计一下,十年之后,你会在哪里?干什么?还会和我有联系吗? 『出题人: Blue』
10年？应该还在这里吧，爱干嘛干嘛，也还会和ay有联系吧，哪会说断就断呢，是吧？

提问27: 最让你刻骨铭心的人是谁? 为什么?
外婆

提问28：你做过最十三点的事情是什么？ 『出题人: 鸭』
在mos burger点套餐，服务生问说要不要upsize,我说“好，upsize我的burger吧” 那服务生气到翻白眼...哈哈哈

提问29 ：最喜欢自己哪一点？ 『出题人: Zhu』
不贪小便宜

提问30 ：你的宝宝会叫什么名字？要是不打算生宝宝，那回答晚饭打算吃什么？ 『出题人: 徐』
我是男生，怎么生小孩？

提问31: 对我的印象。认识我的写我，不认识的就写点你的人。『出题人: ay』
笑得好看, 头也不大，身材也不肥，虽然经常没去上课，功课也还是很厉害...

提问32：要是超人和东方不败对决，谁会赢，为什么？『出题人: gy』

here we have: anthony(u need to bursh up ya chinese and i m helping u), king, qianyi, peiqi,idiot

无题

想当年的飙车少年，现在却每个礼拜帮老妈把大包小包采购的菜阿，水果阿，干粮阿，鸡阿，鸭阿，鱼阿，猪阿，牛阿运回家。要是有新的二十四孝的话，或许可以考虑被写进去。

星期天出门，还是习惯戴顶鸭舌帽，别人家还以为这小子hip hop个什么劲，嘿嘿，其实是因为起床后懒得打理。原来出门是戴渔夫帽的，但是太奇怪了那个感觉，且风一大就会被吹走，算啦。

上个礼拜买了“南拳妈妈2号餐”，都以为我会买杨丞琳的“暧昧”是吗？大错特错，虽然我承认迷恋女色不是一天两天的事情了，但是我还是有理智的...有点令人失望，这张专辑没有上一张来得好听，而且新的组合真的是有点不敢恭维，虽然宣传上都说什么新的音带组合会很好听啊之类的，还是相信自己的耳朵最好。

推荐：最后一枚笑容 or 牡丹江

明天又是礼拜一了...st21的project却还没开始做

how u have been?

happened to find my first love's blog...i didnt expect her to do any blogging, she's not the type who could key in entries patiently infront of computer(at least that's wat i know before i left my town 5 years ago), and apparently she's juz started her blog not long ago...

it feels funny when u are back in contact with someone you've already known for ages and somehow u two have lost contact for years...

nuthing much to say...

hope she's doing juz fine...

blow me up?NO WAY!

once it looks so sweet, the next moment it turns into nightmare and chew you up without you even realising it...yeah, wat can be worse than that? I'd thot giving unconditional trust to the pple i know is a trait in my character, fine!! i will correct it now, it's a darn bloody shitty flaw. Out of kindness, i shared my lab work with lionel for reference, and the fucking bastard copied it whole sale! wat the fuck is that! university takes plagiarism seriously, not juz his work will be graded 0, mine too(surmore i worked on it for 24 hours in order to score the full mark)...God tells me to help pple when they are in need, so i did and it never backfires on me until now..and i m not a saint, i cant stop cursing that bastard and i truly hope he'd fucked. even when i m questioning him on the phone why my work is copied, he was still trying to explain that he's simply had same idea as me, i dont like the attitude, wat the fuck on earth is that?? bloody hell...my fault too for not drawing the line faster enough when i m already feel uncomfortable with him since last sem, and i m assertive that i not the only one who feels that way, is being helpful a curse on me now?at least now i know who's not worth my help..well, i can forgive him, but i cant forgive myself. so save ya millions of sorry, 'cause my reply will be fuck you, asshole!

for u fail my trust, my trust fails u

moral of the story: be watchful on those pple apporach u...