8:15, i woke up, made tea for myself before brushing my teeth, had cheese cake for breakfast but didnt drink the soya bean milk mom made, it's just not my cup of tea...

i sat down at the dinning table, and contemplating; no disorientation please.

fear, i still havent figured out what composes of it, it resides in me, rooting deeper every time i m trying to unroot it; prayer keeps it down, serving like a narcotic, forget about it momentarily but its existence isnt erased..Lord wants me to confront it, so i did and i lose out; i know i m on the right track, but perhaps on the wrong train; it doesnt matter, serve me right, i made those choices, i'd rather naively believe the choices chose me...make me a good man at the end of the day, make me worth what i m taking, make me feel inferior no more, make me the kinda person Lord you want me to be..."devil's found a new place to play, like a maze right there inside your brain"

O' Lord, save me