179. illinois. your hand.

fuck it, i feel awful, in really bad shape, in the same state of poignancy , when i sent my grandma off..the 0500am airport was cold, not even the coffee in hand could stop the chill. i pretended to take it easy, putting up faint smile on face, but in fact that's not the case. i was thinking if i were in Graham's shoes in the holiday, would i do the same thing when Amanda packed the bags and leaving for LA..it turned out that i was just a clone of Graham, spoke no sweet lines, and wept like a baby, sorry i didnt keep my words..ok, so the long lost sentimental side of mine is back, i thought i wasn't born with one, and this time, i m rounded up. she said " i was expecting you.", i can tell that easily, though i was told not to make the appearance..and the 1st lesson is: read whatever the ladies say in opposite, that's what they really want. zc, you were right, i owe you big time. thanks for the hug, and i shall have cuddled longer and tighter, but well, people were watching and i had to let go the hand reluctantly, drawing away the last bit of warmth from her body. worry not, i have registered every detail in my tiny brain, all of them. pacific ocean is my enemy now, 179 days i wont lose the count. somehow a year ago, my cousin was right when she bought me the little cross with 4 leaved clover embedded, "you will give it to her, whoever she is", i laughed it off and gave her the face i-dont-believe-in-that..my dearest beloved cousin's good, she should become the fortune teller, as that little cross is now dangling on a motorola razor phone 10,o00 feets above the ground and i only noticed it at the check-in gate. well, this is it, happy landing in illinois, and weeper is gone.