changing..for good

i was reminded how i kicked a fuss about the topic on homosexual during my jc days on GP lesson; i couldnt remember the exact details, but pretty sure that i was radical, to the extent that zero tolerance of the homosexual community is permitted; others may have a rather neutral stand as it's not their beef at all, however, marginalisation of the group was my agenda, oh well, things people do when they were young and wild...it all boils down to the christian doctrine that homosexual is labelled as a sin, which's been embedded deep in my belief; when zero tolerance is allowed, it breeds arrogance, prejudice or even hatred, and i was blinded.

perhaps Lord is trying to remind me another far more important christian doctrine, that embrace the difference with love, erm...to me, maybe not with love yet, nevertheless just take the first step to accept..that somehow explains why He places homosexual friends into my life, i have to understand them, not simply shrug off and attach my prejudicial opinions to.

but frankly, it's not easy, perhaps it's just me...i'd thought he's just alittle bit sissy, may be 'cause the imbalance of male hormone inside his body; anyway, i get along with him well, having fun on cheap jokes, latest blockbusters, food watsoeva...i only realised how different he was from me when he was asking me about xbox:
"hey, i want to buy a xbox360 for my boyfriend, watcha say?"
"xbox360's got terrific graphic, its retail price is terrific too...erm, did u just say boyfriend?"
"yea, boyfriend, my boyfriend"
*silent for a while* "orh..great..lovely...anyway, xbox360 allows multiplayers up to 20 person at the same time, blah..blah..blah"

as i explored more, he is actually a drag performer as well, and he truly wants to be a woman...i guess fate just played a big prank on him, and what m i to judge? he's brave to face the reality, and never denies what truly he wants, even it's against the convention..this year, it's the fifth anniversay of his relationship and it's going steadfastly, beautiful lovestory indeed; 5 years, that's longer than any other relationships i know, and they are deemed to be different from us..i will not say i will throw my arms around and fully embrace the difference, but i m starting to accept the brokebacks, as Lord wishes me to..